


Faith

by ellipsisthegreat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-11
Updated: 2010-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-13 15:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellipsisthegreat/pseuds/ellipsisthegreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not sure about this whole 'you having a baby' thing." Roxas said. "How will you even have it? Are you gonna shit it out or something? Guys just aren't meant to have babies. If they were, they would." Commission fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith

_**DISCLAIMER** : Kingdom Hearts and everything affiliated with it belongs to SquareEnix and Disney. All I own is the plot…_

 _ **Dedication** : To KibaIsMyLover! Congrats, hon!_

 _ **Theme** : MPREG_

 _"Two months is too little, they let him go...they had no sudden healing. To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays, is appalling..." -Natalie Grant, 'Held'_

"I want to have a baby."

Roxas blinked. Twice.

Then, his eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head so he could stare incredulously at his husband's profile.

"A what?"

"A baby. You know, one of those mini-people with a teensy body and a badly proportioned head that cries and shits and spits up all over the place."

"…Why?"

"We've talked about it before." Axel reclined back in the chair, still checking over some papers as if they were discussing something completely mundane—like whether or not they should finally replace those disgusting yellow curtains in the kitchen—rather than something potentially life-changing. "And just 'cuz. I want one."

Roxas stared at him for a moment longer before deciding that, honestly, if he hadn't figured his husband out after ten years (eight dating, since his freshman year of high school, and two married, since right after he graduated college), he probably wasn't going to get some sudden epiphany about him _now_.

And they _had_ talked about it. Axel really _did_ want kids. And they both had mostly stable jobs, and a nice little apartment with an extra bedroom (for guests, at the moment), and they certainly weren't getting any younger.

And, Roxas supposed, having a kid wouldn't be so bad. He was kind of looking forward to the prospect, himself.

"So should I ask off from work so we can go check out the orphanage over on Fair Street?" He asked.

Axel shifted uncomfortably.

A bad sign, for sure.

"Well, here's the thing…"

A _very_ bad sign.

"…Remember that project I mentioned a while back?"

"The one about spontaneous human combustion?"

"…What does that have to do with babies?"

"Nothing. Probably. I never know with you."

"I am _not_ going to try and make our baby spontaneously combust."

"…Of course not."

"Fuck you." Axel snapped, rolling his eyes. "And that _wasn't_ the project I was talking about. I was talking about the one for male pregnancy."

Roxas stared at him. Again. Then, just for propriety's sake, he did a double take and narrowed his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"We're ready for human testing." Axel continued with a shrug.

Roxas pursed his lips, clenched his jaw, and tried to count to ten.

In his defense, he made it all the way to four.

"And what, exactly, are you trying to get at, Axel?" He asked, his voice tight. "You—"

"Want to have a baby." Axel finished for him, his tone far too calm. He still hadn't looked up from his paperwork, except that then he finally did. "Your baby. No surrogate, no adoption. Just you and me and our baby."

"No. Absolutely not. I refuse." Roxas said, and stood up, and stormed out of the room without letting Axel say anything else.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

The next thing Roxas knew, Axel was taking female hormones every day and jabbering on excitedly about how they should decorate the baby's room (Roxas vetoed his suggestion about fire-themed trimming), and what they should name him or her, and Roxas really couldn't find it in himself to do much more than go along with it and wonder vaguely how he had been talked into this.

Axel's assurances that _Roxas_ wouldn't be the pregnant one had helped, he thought.

And then, one day, as he was climaxing from one of the best blow jobs of his life, Axel whipped out a small sample jar from Shiva-only-knew where and collected a sample of his cum.

"You could have asked." Roxas gasped as he came down from his high and Axel snapped the lid onto the jar.

"Mm, but this was far more fun." Axel said, with the catty grin that always made Roxas wonder just exactly what Axel needed female hormones for—between his hips and that damnable grin the pyromaniac hardly seemed to need anything to make him _more_ feminine.

"So we're really gonna go through with this?" Roxas asked as he watched Axel put the jar in a small portable storage unit he had probably jacked from work.

"Why wouldn't we?" Axel asked.

"Well…I just…I'm not sure about this whole 'you having a baby' thing." Roxas said. "How will you even _have_ it? Are you gonna shit it out or something? And—"

"Roxas, there isn't even any guarantee that it'll work." Axel said. "I mean, we had some successful tests, but that's with animals, and we had a lot more _un_ successful ones. And no, of course I'm not going to shit it out. Haven't you ever seen 'Junior'? I'll have a C-section."

"Yeah, okay, but…look, I'm just worried. It can't be healthy for you to do this. Guys just aren't _meant_ to have babies. If they were, they _would_." Roxas said.

"Aww, you're so sweet when you worry." Axel crawled back into bed and pulled him close. "But don't. Even if it doesn't work out…the test subject never died. Just the…the baby."

Roxas grabbed Axel's hand. "And…and what'll happen if _you_ lose the baby?" He said, vividly remembering the expression on Olette's face when she had miscarried her and Pence's first child.

"Then we'll try again." Axel said.

"And if you lose the next one, too?" His voice grew softer with the next question. "How many times can you lose a baby before you break, Axel?"

"Look…how about this: three tries. Three strikes and we're out. Okay?" Axel asked.

He nodded, and then he made love to Axel until the thought of losing anything but their control was far from their minds.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

Three weeks later, Axel came home with a huge, ridiculous grin on his face. And all he had to do was grin wider and let his hand drop to his stomach, and Roxas _knew_.

 _This was real_.

He stared at the other man for a moment, then ran to his side and embraced him with more enthusiasm than he'd thought he would have for anything of this magnitude, and then he was on the phone with everyone he could think of, inviting them over for dinner while Axel laughed and laughed and cried in the background.

The news was taken differently by everyone. The girls (and Marluxia, but that could be redundant) immediately surrounded Axel and started chatting with him about this that and the other. Roxas suspected that Axel had already told them that he was planning this, because they didn't seem all that surprised.

Sora and Demyx and Pence and Hayner and _Seifer_ , of all people, clapped Roxas on the back and congratulated him, like he'd actually gotten Axel pregnant like a regular girl (they had evidently been reading too much fan fiction, or something. _Obviously_ a man couldn't _actually_ get pregnant like a girl. Honestly.). Zexion had started up a conversation with Vexen, Lexaeus, Xemnas, and Saïx about the logistics of male pregnancy (or something like that—Roxas never had been able to understand their science-talk). Luxord and Xigbar got drunk. Well, more drunk.

And then Xaldin had stood up and started yelling. This wasn't natural, or normal, or right, and how could they all pretend like it was? And by the time he had finished Axel had started crying and Olette, in a rare fit of anger, had slapped him across the face and started yelling right back at him in that way only Olette could manage.

Xaldin left, soon followed by everyone else, since the happy mood had been effectively run into the ground and into the Underworld. (Hades was quite peeved at that, too.)

But Xaldin's outburst—which he had apologized about afterward—readied Roxas for what he suddenly realized he and Axel were going to go through.

The 'miracle' stayed under wraps for a while, but then one of the lab assistants got drunk and let it slip to someone, who let it slip to the local news station, who grabbed a hold of it and turned it into a huge, nation-wide scandal.

The stress of it all—the protests, the marches, the _attempted bombing_ —caused Axel to miscarry during his fourth month.

And Roxas could only hold Axel tightly in his arms as he cried and cried and cried and held his stomach and asked why, why, why? Because all Axel wanted to do was bring a life into the world. A life that was half him and half the love of his life, and what about that was wrong? Or unnatural? And why was it anyone else's business, anyhow? If it wasn't meant to happen—if God, or the gods, thought it was wrong—then it _wouldn't_.

"Are you sure you want to try again?" Roxas asked when Axel's tears had finally stopped, after hours and hours of crying and yelling.

"Of course I am." Axel said with a sob. "I want this. I want this _so much_. And you know me—next time, I'll just lob the bomb back at 'em."

Roxas forced out a laugh so that he wouldn't start crying, too.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

This time, when Axel came home with that smile on his face—hesitant, this time, almost frightened—Roxas smiled twice as wide and picked Axel up and swung him around even though Axel was nearly a foot taller than him and ended up barfing all over his shirt.

And then he took him to their bedroom and made love to him, all the while telling Axel that he had to be the bravest person Roxas had ever met, because even Olette had waited a year before trying for another baby.

The next morning, while Axel was still asleep, Roxas slipped out of bed and called in some old favors with his cousin, Cloud. And the day after that Cloud and his boyfriend Leon showed up on their doorstep, swords in hand, and expressions that told Roxas better than words that Axel's pregnancy wouldn't have to endure even a quarter of the stress it had endured the time before.

With every day that passed, their excitement grew. The baby would be a boy, they found out. And Axel woke Roxas up one day with a sharp exhale and tug on his hand that ended with it on Axel's oddly stretched stomach, and suddenly Roxas _knew_ why Axel wanted this baby so bad, as it kicked his hand bodily. Roxas moved his hand and could actually _see_ the baby's foot outlined in the skin of Axel's stomach, and Roxas started crying, because Axel had never been more beautiful even if he _did_ cry more easily now, and drove Roxas crazy with his bizarre cravings, and always felt sweaty and gross and had swollen ankles that he couldn't even see anymore.

The baby was stillborn.

Roxas thought about trying to talk Axel out of that third strike, as they held each other cried over the little grave holding their son's limp form, but decided against it. After all, everyone else was loud enough about their own protests, and he knew that once Axel decided something then that was The Way It Would Be, no matter what anyone said.

And besides, even though his heart had broken at the sight of that tiny body with Axel's nose and a light dusting of blonde hair, he wanted this, too. At this point, he almost _needed_ it.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

When Axel lost the third baby, Roxas thought that the world just might stop. They'd hardly even been in the third month, this time. They hadn't even told anyone, yet, because they had been so scared of what might happen if they got anyone else's hopes up.

Everyone seemed to know what had happened, though, when Roxas showed up alone at Sora's birthday party. It started with Olette, who had taken one look at his face and thrown herself at him with a loud sob. And then he was crying, too, because how could life be so hard and cruel? And everyone else gathered around him and hugged him and told him it would all be okay, even though they all knew that was a lie.

When he tried to apologize for ruining Sora's birthday, Sora punched him.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

Axel had been mourning for six months when Roxas finally, tentatively, suggested that they give it one last shot.

"I never did like baseball." Roxas said softly, rocking Axel in his arms.

Axel tried to laugh, but couldn't quite manage it. "I don't know if I can go through it again, Roxy."

"Yeah, but Axel, you…you're fading away." He said. "I don't know what else I can do to help. I just want you to be happy, Ax. And you aren't, and it's killing me. Just think about it, okay?"

Axel nodded.

(PAGEBREAK,Y'KNOW?)

The baby was a girl, and they named her Faith, because it seemed fitting and sounded better than 'Stubborn' or 'Crazy.' She had Roxas' eerily blue eyes and messy blonde hair, though it thankfully wasn't quite as spiky as either of her fathers'. Otherwise, though, she was the spitting image of Axel—from the curvy hips she developed when she was old enough to have curves to the catty grin she got when she had done something terribly mischievous but knew she would get away with it, anyhow.

And every year, they took her to visit the grave of her brother, David, and thanked him for seeing her safely into the world.

Just like any good older brother would.

The End


End file.
